Why am I even here?

It’s been ages since I posted something. I haven’t made the effort to keep up a regular posting schedule, and I’m not sure how I feel about that.

You guys who post twice a week? Incredible. I love reading your posts, and you’re inspiring. But I don’t know if I’d say you’re #goals, because everything comes at a price. And I’m not sure if I’m willing to pay the price to be a really good blogger. #isitreallygoals

Laptop and Notebook

It seems like a lot of the best bloggers are homeschooled or self-employed, and I’m so happy that they’re putting their time into their art. (so happy) I get to enjoy their art, they get to create their art, and it’s a happy lil circle.

If your art is important to you, you make time for your art. I’ve pushed mine to the back burner lately, and other things have come forward: doing my homework the best I can. Being there for friends and family. Work. Organizing things I think need to happen.

Of course – of course – I’m not saying that people who have more time to write aren’t there for their friends and family. And I won’t say that I don’t have enough time to write. I’ve just been using my time differently.

There are times when I’m totally caught up in the online, bookish, artsy world. Reading reviews, writing reviews, looking at and creating aesthetic boards on Pinterest. Reading all the time and planning my own stories. I love those times.

There are also times when I’m more caught up in life offline. Studying for chemistry tests. Manically writing papers with my friends. Taking on more responsibilities at work. Going to football games. Intentionally trying to get to know someone better. I love those times.

BFFs

Thing is, I’m not really able to have both at once. Time is limited, friends, despite making the most out of insomnia (yup I’m cool like that). So I’m cycling between these two, and like everyone wise ever always says, maybe it’s not a conflict to be resolved, but a tension to be maintained.

With that in mind, why am I even here? I have a blog, but I can’t decide how much effort I want to put into it. Do I want this to be a Big Thing in my life, or a side hustle? Is there any point in doing it if you don’t make it really good? Is posting regularly what really makes a blog good?

I honestly don’t know.

In the meantime, I’m here today. Dipping my toes back in the water, splashing around. Not sure yet if I want to cannonball in.

I will say this: for me personally, and I suspect for many many people, to neglect one of these worlds – art and action – leads me feeling drained and empty.

Art is what recharges me and fills up my soul. It inspires me, as in it makes me want to go out and do things. Explore and laugh with friends and make things better. Who can read about adventures without wanting to have their own? Inspiration without action is pointless. Action without inspiration is dangerous. We need both.

I’m on break now (I made it through finals thank you Lord), so I’m most likely headed toward a more artistic time. I have a list of books to read, projects to work on, and – fingers crossed – blog posts to write!

The world needs dreamers and the world needs doers. But above all, the world needs dreamers who do.

– Sarah Ban Breathnach

Digiprove sealCopyright secured by Digiprove © 2016 Anna Enderle

Author: Anna Enderle

Reader, writer, traveler, homebody, and champion at carrying in all the groceries with one trip.

2 thoughts on “Why am I even here?”

  1. Don’t feel bad! I used to be able to blog regularly-ish, but once I started college that all went out the window. Plus you have to actually live your life in order to gather material worth writing about. One of the things I’m trying to remember this semester is that, no matter how much I love writing, it’s not worth sacrificing your friends and social life for. That being said, I do hope you keep blogging (regularly or not). I always enjoy reading your posts.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *